Dealing with an ex post-divorce can be challenging. However, when exes are raising children together, they have no choice but to make it work.
There are several co-parenting styles, and it is the job of parents to determine how they are best able to work together to raise happy, healthy and emotionally mature children after a divorce.
Autonomous relationships
Parents in autonomous co-parenting relationships establish clear boundaries and do not communicate beyond issues pertaining to picking up and dropping off the children. They manage the logistics as a team, but each parent contributes to the children’s emotional needs individually.
Arm’s length relationships
Co-parents who are cooperative in all aspects of parenting but are not active in each other’s personal lives are in an arm’s length relationship. These exes can compartmentalize their communication in order to raise children in a functional and civil manner without trying to connect on deeper levels.
Allied relationships
In allied relationships, parents can share an emotional bond though they are no longer romantically involved. They actively cultivate connections with their children and each other, with some even able to achieve close friendships. Allied co-parents tend to be very flexible with arrangements and may even coordinate family events for the children.
Divorce does not have to determine the future of a family, and individual co-parenting styles may evolve as time passes. The best co-parents are those who put their children’s development and happiness at the core of their communication, regardless of which relationship type they choose to maintain.