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3 things to remember when divorcing a controlling spouse

On Behalf of | Sep 25, 2023 | Divorce

If you have filed for divorce because you are sick of your spouse trying to control you, then you need to take extra care during the divorce.

The fact that you took matters into your own hands by filing will have upset them. They’ll have seen it as a challenge to the very control they thrived on, so do not expect them to make it easy for you. They may well try to make it as difficult as possible.

Here are some things to remember:

1. A leopard doesn’t change its spots – at least not overnight

If your spouse says they’ve seen the errors of their way and it will be different from now, you should probably take it with a pinch of salt. Coming across all repentant and nice could well just be another of their controlling tactics. By lulling you back in, they regain control once more.

2. Evidence is your friend when there’s a dispute

Controlling people can often come off as charming to others. A judge may struggle to believe the person in front of them could have done things you say. Records of emails, messages and so on could prove crucial to getting a fair deal.

3. Sometimes it is best to admit they have too much control over you

Controlling behavior works in part by weakening the other party. If you always knew how to stand up for your rights, your spouse would have found it difficult or impossible to control you. Plucking up the courage to file does not mean you have built up full resistance to their efforts yet. It may be better to leave it to your legal representative to deal with them. They will be immune to your spouse’s ways and can work to protect your interests.